Today's workout was a little slice of heaven! Seriously! I am so freaking proud of myself! I RAN! I actually RAN!!! 4 whole minutes! I did a 5 min warm-up, 11 min of fast walking, 4 minute jog/run at 5mph, 20 min on the eliptical, 10 min medium paced walk, and 5 min cooldown. OMG! It felt so nice to sweat! Not even kidding! I could totally get addicted to that feeling... I feel so good right now! Emotionally, today has been SO much better! Eating wise, I did ok, I guess. Not great, but ok... Better than last week. Lady friend should be gone by tomorrow's weigh in. Swelling should be gone by the end of the week.
So, I made 2 really cool paintings today: Probably part of why it has been such a good day! Painting makes me happy! One of them won't show up well in a picture, but the other should be good. The one that won't be a good picture is a series of 3 paintings for my neighbour's new appartment. He said he was going to pay me if he likes them... Hopefully he likes them... If not, I am SO keeping them! I LOVE them! The other was just a little something that I am currently using as my mousepad... It says AMBITION- to seek earnestly. That was the wikipedia definition, which I liked a lot better than webster's def.
Let's see, what else is on my mind... My inlaws will be here next week. Monday is my oldest daughter's 2nd birthday! I cannot believe she is 2 already!!! Crazy part about her birthday, is that She was born August 2, 2008, and August 2, 2007, I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy. I was 12 weeks along, but the baby had only developed to 5 weeks. He had been dead for a while... No, I couldn't tell it was a boy, I just think it was... I don't know why. I was so sad then, but Baby1's birthday made that day all better for me!
My husband will be 30 the end of next week, and I have absolutely NOTHING for him! I don't even know what to get him! He is a gamer, really smart, and likes history... I know he sounds like a loser/geek, but he really isn't. He is very handsome, and not just by my standards. He is also a really good person. Any Ideas? I think maybe just getting away for a night to ourselves without kids would be fun...
Another random thought:
Alli's side effects have not kicked in yet. Maybe it takes a day... I really should finish reading all the material that came with it. Maybe when I am done here, I can do that. Watch, it is gonna kick in right as I am wanting to go to sleep tonight... I will probably be up late again tonight... I still want to read all y'all's blogs. :) I was supposed to go next door and drink and talk with my neighbour tonight, but I wanted to work on the paintings. Any of you who are artists know that when you are inspired, you kinda just want to go with it... You do your best work when you are in the mood!
I am starting to get tired, so I better cut this short. But I wanted to brag about actually being able to run- which is something seriously, I have not even tried since probably 2004 until recently that is... I haven't ran for longer than a minute or two since 2001 when I was in highschool softball.
Love you all, and thanks for the support!
AnaNae
Hey! I finally managed to analyze your dream. My interpretation is based upon the symbolism, Freudian psychology, and my own intuition. I'm sorry if it's a bit amateur, so it could be completely off-base.
ReplyDeleteHere we go. I think the guilt twin sister signified that you need to make amends for a past injustice. It seems to me that you are repressing emotional problems stemming from your previous sexual abuse given the man himself was there. The fact that you were scared of breaking the white (the color is important) plates means you are scared of failure in every aspect of your life, but that you are mostly concerned with pleasing others. My guess is that there was a huge family fight revolving your abuse about whether or not to believe your accusations, and that the man in question was a close family relative or friend of your parents. Given the flavor of the dream, I'm leaning towards relative. Although you didn't mention when the viewpoints changed, I'll just assume that you viewed your twin sister die in the third person and that it looked like you were the one dying. I think this represents how a part of you died as a result of all the conflict when you were younger.
I hope this helped you make sense of it. xoxo
The man was my biological mother's husband. The people in the house in the dream was my mother, him, me, and a bunch of strangers. It was "supposedly" the house it all happened in, when in fact it was not, and when I walked by the room that it "happened" in, I fell down and cried. That is when he started yelling that I wanted it and I was a little whore. I yelled out that I was 5 years old, how could I know what I wanted? When I saw my "twin" die, it was first person at first, then switched to third person-think of a movie... It almost felt like it was a funeral for twin... Everyone was sad... The white plates part makes perfect sense. I really am SO afraid of failure and for a long time, I was so worried I had let everyone who had ever counted on me down because I slept with my now husband before we were married. I was adopted into a strict Baptist home. This dream happened not long after a run in with a co-worker, where he thought I wanted more than I did... That may be where the not believing accusations came in... I was relating the two situations to eachoter. The twin part freaked me out, because it was so vivid, and so real... Like a false memory... I have a lot of those due to a troubled past. At least I think they are false...
ReplyDeleteYay for running & painting!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about what happened. I'm really proud of you for moving on with your life and finding a man to marry who loves you. A lot of the time, the mind shields you from trauma and creates things that don't exist. Just know that I'm always here if you want support or want to talk. xoxo
ReplyDelete