Wannarexic.

Something has really been bothering me today after reading some blogs... The term Wannarexic... I assume it is talking about girls that are fat that want to starve themselves to be thin, but don't have the discipline it takes to actually do it. I assume since I am fat, I fall into that category... What people don't realize, is that "wannarexics" have an ED too. It is called compulsive eating disorder...

"Compulsive eating disorder, also called a binge eating disorder is characterized by an addiction to food. An individual suffering with compulsive eating disorder has episodes of uncontrolled eating or bingeing, during which he or she may feel anxious and panicky. The person may continue to eat even after becoming uncomfortably full. The binge is typically followed by a period of guilt and/or depression. Unlike bulimia, those with compulsive eating disorder typically do not purge themselves with vomiting, laxative use, or excessive exercise."

http://www.edtreatmentcenters.com/compulsive-eating-disorder.php

"Addiction
During binges compulsive overeaters might consume anything from 5000 to 15000 kilo calories in a day, which results as an addictive "high" not unlike those experienced through drug usage, and a release from psychological stress. In bulimics, this high may be intensified by the act of purging. Researchers have speculated there is an abnormality of endorphin metabolism in the brain of binge eaters that triggers the addictive process. This is in line with other theories of addiction that attribute it not to avoidance of withdrawal symptoms, but to a primary problem in the reward centers of the brain. For the Compulsive Overeater, the ingestion of trigger foods causes release of the neurotransmitter, serotonin. This could be another sign of neurobiological factors contributing to the addictive process. Abstinence from addictive food and food eating processes causes withdrawal symptoms in those with eating disorders. There may be higher levels of depression and anxiety due to the decreased levels of serotonin in the individual.[2]

There are complexities with the biology of compulsive eating that separate it from a pure substance abuse analogy. Food is a complex mixture of chemicals that can affect the body in multiple ways, which is magnified by stomach-brain communication. In some ways, it may be much more difficult for compulsive overeaters to recover than drug addicts. There is an anecdotal saying among Overeaters Anonymous members that "when you are addicted to drugs you put the tiger in the cage to recover; when you are addicted to food you put the tiger in the cage, but take it out three times a day for a walk."[2]

The physical explanation of compulsive overeating may be attributed to an overeaters' increased tendency to secrete insulin at the sight and smell of food, though medical evidence supporting this is controversial.[3] Some researchers[who?][weasel words] also attribute it to excessive neurological sensitivity in taste and/or smell."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsive_overeating


Emotionally, this is the same as ana, mia, or any other EDNOS. We feel like we are not good enough at the weight we currently are at, and feel helpless to change it.

I have suffered from this for the past 6 years. I literally was addicted to food. I craved food the same way a heroin addict craves his next fix or whatever it is called. It is scientifically proven that the human body releases the same chemicals when someone has a sugar/food addiction as a heroin addiction. What would you tell a smoker or a drug addict that wants to quit? You would tell them to stop, right? You wouldn't tell them, oh, just cut yourself down to 3 times a day, and you will be fine for the rest of your life, You tell them to QUIT.

The point of where I am going with this is that SO WHAT if someone WANTS to be anorexic... SO WHAT if they WANT to have CONTROL? SO WHAT if they feel a need for drastic measures in changing their life... Why wouldn't someone seek help from people who are feeling the same way they are, and actually have proven methods of acheiving their goals. Why wouldn't they want to get support from people who understand how it feels to hate their bodies so much, they would do almost anything, include emaciate themselves to make that feeling go away.

Why is what I am choosing to do any different from them? I have an addiction. I want to quit. I have to stop. I need Ana. No, I do not want it, I need it. I will never reach my goals without it, because I can't break that addiction any other way; I am too easily discouraged about my body for it to take years...

I don't actually consider myself anorexic even though I haven't eaten in 2 days. Anorexics by definition are usually quite small and still starve themselves due to a distorted body image, or unrealistic expectations for their body frame. I am actually obese, and I do not have unrealistic expectations of how thin I want to be, Therefore not an anorexic.

But my wanting to use Ana to acheive my goals, please don't criticize that. A means to an end so they say.

You don't criticize me for wanting to better myself with the only means I know works fast, and I won't criticize you for wanting to be unhealthily small. k? k.

Much love,

AnaNae