I know it has been a really LONG time. I have been journaling on paper a lot lately. as far as my weight goes, I am gaining a normal, healthy amount for my pregnancy. I have gained a lot more than I wanted to, since I didn't want to gain any, but the baby is healthy, and that is what matters right now. When I am done with the pregnancy, I am going to be working out at the Gym again, and my goal is to lose 50-60 in 6 months. Hard, but do-able. I finally feel like I am ready for this emotionally! I am no longer self-destructive, and I am able to see my worth now... I am worth the effort, and I actually believe it. I am better able to combat the destructive thoughts... You know that veggietales movie where the lie Junior asparagus tells keeps growing and growing until it becomes a giant... Well, my negative thoughts are like those lies, and the more I keep telling myself I can't accomplish my goals, the bigger I will keep getting... So I just have to keep telling myself the positive things so that the Giant me will shrink! :)
The girl that hubby got pregnant lost the baby. (Thankfully for me) That phase in our marriage is officially over. I deserve better than to keep hurting myself. We have re-focused on each other, and our marriage is the best it has been in a long time! I have been crazy busy lately. I have been painting both of the kids' rooms. The girls' room is done, and I am working on the baby's room. I am tired and ready to be NOT PREGNANT! I miss being able to work out. I have been having some pain in my hips... They are separating due to this being my 4th pregnancy in 3 years... It makes everything hard... Walking, sitting, laying down, rolling over... Everything hurts.
I am feeling better than I have in a long time emotionally right now... I am learning a lot, changing a lot for the better. but I have kids that need fed, so I better get off of here... Here in about 7 weeks, I am going to need your support and your comments and help as I start back on my weight loss journey... I have a LONG way to go!
Remember> You are who you want to be... You are defined as you define yourself. Don't let anyone tell you who you are or who you need to me... Just be yourself and love yourself... :)
AnaNae
